


Prank War: Axis vs. Allies

by badwolfhufflepuff



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: France getting bullied, Funny, Gift Fic, Other, Petition to rename England's eyebrows to britbrows, Prank Wars, Prankster Axis Powers, Stranded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfhufflepuff/pseuds/badwolfhufflepuff
Summary: The Axis trio is stranded on a deserted island again, but this time, instead of fighting them, they decide to prank the Allies.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Prank War: Axis vs. Allies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Azusicle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azusicle/gifts).



> This fic is a gift to Azusicle for their victory on the reference game in Drawn Together. I hope you like it!
> 
> This is the shortest amount of time it took me to finish a fic... yikes.

They were stranded. Again. And it was the least of their troubles.

"I'm boreeed." Italy whined, rolling around in the sand with nothing but his boxers on. "Let's do something fuun."

Germany and Japan sat in the rare spots of shade that could be found on the beach, cooling themselves down and discussing escape plans. Well, they would discuss them if it weren't for the Italian. "You have an entire ocean in front of you, go for a swim or something if you're bored." Germany groaned.

"But Germaaany, I've been swimming all day. My skin would get all soggy if I swim any more." Italy complained.

"Then do something else, we're busy here." Germany sighed. "Go take a walk or something."

Italy pouted as he realized there was no way for either of them to come and play with him. He stood up and went to take the ordered walk around the island's forests.

It wasn't a long walk until Italy heard somewhat familiar voices coming from the nearby bushes. There was no way for that to be Germany and Japan, they were still by the seaside. Only when he heard a rather obnoxious laugh did he realize who it was. Panic ran through his veins all over his body, swallowing it in a matter of seconds. He pulled a white flag seemingly out of nowhere before he could hear Germany's voice loud and clear in his head. _'When you see the enemy don't panic. If possible come find me first, before doing anything you might regret.'_ That's right! The Allies didn't know Italy was there, but Italy knew where they were. He still had time to go get Germany and Japan.

Sneakingly, Italy made his way back to the shore where his friends were. Slowly, but surely, an idea was forming in his head. This island was in a middle of nowhere and the middle of nowhere usually meant there was no one to hear anyone's screams. Italy had a brilliant idea in his head, he just had to tell Japan and Germany.

"The Allies are here?!" Germany almost yelled in surprise as Italy nodded a couple of times.

"And they didn't notice you there, did they?" Japan asked.

"No." Italy answered. "But listen, I know a way we can get rid of them."

Germany and Japan exchanged brief glances with each other. Was this moment really happening? It feels too good to be true. "Let's hear it then." Germany said, not expecting much.

"Well, you see, when I was coming back here to warn you guys, I saw a lot of bugs wiggling around the forest and I thought why not prank the Allies away. That's better than fighting don't you think? And it doesn't even have to be just the bugs we can throw in a lot of other pranks as well." Italy fastforwarded through his idea, Japan nodding along and Germany seemed unsure about it.

"I don't know, Italy. That seems like it would fail." Germany said, brushing away the few strands of hair that had fallen out of their position due to heat.

Japan kept silent for a while, processing what Italy just suggested. "I don't know, his plan has potential, Germany-san."

"See, Japan agrees with me. Come on, Germany, let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it!" Italy took a hold of Germany's arm, bouncing up and down.

"I still think it's a dumb idea, but fine. As long as you let me go." Germany finally agreed. Two against one wasn't a fair play.

"Yes! Let's do it!" But before Italy could sprint towards the place he found the Allies, Germany grabbed him.

"At least wait until the night falls and they are asleep, or else you'll be caught." Germany said. "For now, let's gather everything we need to prank them."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Italy said, breaking free of Germany's hold and sprinting to do his duty.

"If only he was this fast when training." Germany let out an exhausted sigh.

Finally, it was night. Italy had taken Germany and Japan to the place where he found the Allies, having previously gathered enough prank material to last them for weeks. The trio sat there, hidden by the bushes, waiting for the Allies to go to sleep.

Watching the Moon's position, Japan concluded it was around 2 in the morning when all of the Allies went to sleep. They waited for another hour, Italy swaying side to side in an attempt not to fall asleep, then they acted out their plan.

The first victim on their list was Russia. Unsure of how to prank the tall man, Japan proposed they tie the ends of his scarf with his shoelaces. Italy drew a couple of eyebrow lines on his forehead, resembling England's.

Speaking of England, they decided to throw away his tea bags, replacing them with a couple of beetles Italy hunted down. Japan wrote _'You're welcome. Love from America_.' in a near perfect copy of the obnoxious guy's handwriting. Germany, meanwhile, stuck a piece of paper which said _'I wet my bed.'_ at the back of England's jacket.

Their next victim was poor China. Japan knew just the way to prank him, having watched Korea do this in the past. He took China's boxes, which contained the ingredients for his famous fried shrimp and rice, and switched them up. He also added a few unwelcome guests to the mix, a couple of lizards' tails and snails. To top it all off, he made sure to hide his wok away so he couldn't find it in the morning. Italy drew him the English eyebrows as well as some additional mustache.

Germany, meanwhile, chose to take care of America. Rummaging through his stuff, he found quite a few cans of burgers and some buns. With an evil smile on his face, Germany placed quite a few worms inside the burger cans. Borrowing the marker from Italy, he wrote _'Wanker.'_ on every American flag he could find. Lastly, he added a touch of britbrows, knowing full well America will flip the table about it when he wakes up.

Lastly on their list was France. Germany considered shaving his precious body hair off, but Italy warned him that France was a very light sleeper. A mere sound could wake him up, let alone shaving his body. Japan offered to draw the eyebrows on France, using a special method to make sure the Frenchman remained asleep. As he did that, Italy spotted a canteen next to France's side, undoubtedly filled with wine. He grabbed him and excused himself to Germany, who had just finished placing a fake magic wand next to England, and Japan. Returning a couple of minutes later with a smirk, Italy placed the canteen back to France's side. Their job here was finished, now they just had to wait until morning.

England was the first to arise in the horribly hot morning, walking from person to person in order to wake them all up. There was something strange about everyone, but he figured he was just tired from yesterday.

China got ready to making everyone a nice and satisfying breakfast, but, to his surprise, his wok was nowhere to be found. "Hey, England? Do you have any idea where my wok went?"

"None in the slightest." England answered, waking Russia up. "You can use one of the pots we have inside if you can't find it now."

China sighed, his recipe won't be the same if it isn't made in a wok, but said wok was still nowhere to be seen. "I suppose I should." He got up and pulled a pot big enough to fit for his favorite meal.

Except that the moment he went to drop in the rice, snails greeted him. China screamed. "What the Westernization are snails doing in my rice?"

His scream woke up everyone who had yet to be awakened, as well as the three people hiding in the nearby bushes. Everyone exchanged glances between each other, now noticing what was wrong with their faces.

"China, dude, when did you grow the britbrows? And mustache?" America chimed in.

"I could ask you the same thing! Why do you have those ugly lines on your forehead?" China responded.

"Now, I tried my best." Germany whispered in their hiding, covering Italy's mouth carefully to not give their position away.

"Dude, my forehead is nice. Don't insult it."

"He's right, America. You have grown some serious eyebrows overnight." Russia interrupted, attempting to stand up properly to his full height, but failed to do so. His shoelaces tied to the ends of his scarf tripped him up and he fell face first to the brown ground.

"What was that just now?" France asked.

"No idea." China answered, walking towards Russia to flip him over.

"Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Ki-" Russia kept repeating before China turned him back to his position.

"That being said, why do you all have the britbrows?" France, the sensible one, asked.

America and China looked at France, then at each other, then back at France. "I don't know how to tell you this, but you have them too." China finally said.

France's face went full on traffic lights... whatever that means. First it was bright red, then vomit yellow and, finally, frog green. He finally looked like his real self. "You're saying... my beautiful eyebrows... on which I worked so hard all my life... look like caterpillars!?"

America and China could only nod. France took it as a sign for him to faint. Just as England made his way back from his tent. "America, you wanker! What the bloody hell did you do to my tea?!" He screamed angrily, in anger.

"Dude, I didn't do anything to your tea." America raised his hands in the air as England marched towards him.

"Really? Then why is my tea box full of bugs with a note from you?!" England showed the box to America's face, the last of beetles crawling out of it.

"Those are beetles. You know, like the band from your place." America stated.

"Who?" China chimed in.

"What?" Came from England.

"Mmmmhm..." And Russia, somehow.

"Never mind." America rolled his eyes. "Point is, that wasn't me. I don't even write that nicely."

"Whatever, I'm just going to cook." China said, taking the shrimp can, but finding that it was actually full of rice and... lizard tails. The sky fell upon his eyes. His precious dish was ruined- although there was still a possibility that this new meal would taste good- ruined!

England kept pressing on the fact that America tampered with his tea, until America pointed at his forehead and demanded an explanation. Then he noticed a stick with a star poking out of England's pocket. "You cursed us all! We're all forced to look like you and you blame me for the tea!"

"What the hell are you even on about? I did nothing! You tampered with my tea!" England argued back.

"Whatever! I'm just going to eat! At least then I don't have to look at you!" America said, retreating back to his tent.

"Insufferable child!" England said, walking away for a very short distance before being grabbed by someone.

"What did you do to my flags?! And my burgers?!" America spat furiously.

"What kind of drugs did you take this morning?! I never touched your flags! They give me rashes!" England responded, equally furious.

"Well, no one else would write _'Wanker'_ on them because no one else uses that word! And why did you put worms in my burgers?!"

"I never wrote anything on your flags! And I never put worms anywhere, but you bloody deserve them!"

"You two, could you shut up for a minute?" France finally awakened from his hundred years nap, but without a kiss from a beautiful prince or princess or genderneutral royalty. "I need a drink from your fighting." He grabbed his canteen and took a sip. Weird taste for a wine. He spat it out, realizing what it might be. "America."

"What?" America asked.

"Come over here." America did as he was told. "Smell it."

America smelled the canteen. "Wine?"

France shook his head. "Smell again."

America smelled again, catching a scent that really should not be present in any wine ever. "Dude! That's piss! And you drank it!"

"I spat it out-"

"You drank the piss, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"You know what," China started. "I propose we all get off this island. There's too much weird things going on, we can deal with the Axis when we're as far as possible from this place."

It was a suggestion no one could refuse. They quickly gathered their stuff and helped Russia back on his feet. Just as they were ready to leave, England grabbed his jacket without realizing something was stuck to it. Everyone who walked behind him on their way to their ship had a good laugh, as did the Axis.

"You know," Germany started. "We should do this more often."

"I agree." Italy said as Japan nodded.

"Good. Now let's get off this island as well."

And they boarded the ship with the Allies, taking them all back to civilizations.

Meanwhile, back on the island, a wok was slowly being eaten by the local vegetation. Legend has it that it remained there for the rest of its metal days.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it and come request your stories on my Tumblr badwolfwrites-sometimes. I will be expecting you.


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